After a few minutes, I heard the inevitable: “Daddy, I have to go poo-poo.” I could barely believe my little daughter. That hobbit had a good-size plopper earlier this morning. But I know better than to call a 2-year-old’s bluff.
I have some popular energy drink reviews on YouTube. No way I miss an opportunity to talk about a new Monster AND throw some shade at the University of Arizona. This is what gives me the energy to parent all day.
Batman won’t take his youngest son to see Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.
“Four years old is a little young to see this whole movie,” Ben Affleck told the Associated Press. “I don’t want him to have nightmares.”
My 4-year-old son already has a ticket to the movie. With the opening-night crowd. On the biggest movie screen in the state. In brain-exploding IMAX 3D. Go big or go back to the Batcave, I always say.
You might be thinking I’m a terrible parent and an even worse moviegoer. Maybe you think I’m the kind of narcissistic father who presumes his own little Batman fan to be cooler than Samuel Garner Affleck. I don’t think I’m any of those things. Here’s why the Champ has earned his ticket. Continue reading Batman v Superman: Why I’m bringing my 4-year-old
We had a nice little McDonald’s breakfast routine going. Every week, on the way to the kids’ swim lessons, we would drive thru a neighborhood Micky D’s and eat in the car.
I would get a McGriddles sandwich combo and give the drink, always a chocolate milk, to one of the kids. Then I’d order a second chocolate milk and four orders of McGriddles cakes (“just the bread”). Big kid gets his milk in the jug while I expertly pour the little one’s into a Tupperware sippy cup. I bring my own water and a Monster to drink. I had it down to a science.
The good folks at my neighborhood McDonald’ses, not so much. I think maybe they’re not equipped to handle off-menu ordering. Probably my fault for violating the traditional combo structure.
Now I’ve spent all my birthday money on year of bi-monthly boxes filled with DC Comics collectibles and wearables from Funko. I always say my son is obsessed with Batman, but maybe I’m the one with the problem.
Please do not read to the end of this post. If you have a young daughter and she likes wearing Ariel clothes, believe me — you’re better than this.
We live in a golden age of ideas and information, but it all comes at a terrible cost. Right now, you’re looking at a magical window that can bring you all the best ideas anytime you want. The trade-off is that anyone can share any idea, no matter how dumb and bad, and sometimes we mix up the worst ideas with the best.
I’m not making a cheeky comment on American politics here, I’m disclaiming and apologizing for the dumb and awful thing I’m about to show you. I’m not doing this because it’s important. I don’t even have a strong feeling about this, other than *GROAN*, if that counts as a feeling. If you really want more *GROAN* in your life, well, I guess this is the post for you.