I took my daughter into a Target restroom. What we learned about ‘Trans’ will blow your mind

Today all my social medias are blowing up about the public restrooms at Target stores. Ignoring it all, I took my kids to Target because we have a houseguest who needed some stuff. Also, we’re on the hunt for the new 2016 Imaginext toys.

After a few minutes, I heard the inevitable: “Daddy, I have to go poo-poo.” I could barely believe my little daughter. That hobbit had a good-size plopper earlier this morning. But I know better than to call a 2-year-old’s bluff.

Isn’t there some controversy I’m supposed to be worried about? I wondered, as we walked into the restroom. But we were the only people in there, so whatevs.

I could go on forever about the things a dad worries about when he brings his young daughter into a men’s room, but Louis C.K. pretty much nailed it in the early days of his TV series. This time, I was happy my daughter kept both her shoes on.

Indeed she did have to go poo-poo. And peepee. We took care of business, got her pants back on and exited the stall. That’s when I saw the other man.

It’s difficult for me to describe this man because he looked like a bearded Jesse Pinkman, so I’m not sure whether to call him Jesse Beardman or Beardy Pinkman. I can’t really call him Pinkbeard because his beard was blond. Anyway.

How we dress to go to Target.
How we dress to go to Target.

Jesse Beardman was helping his kids, two boys a little bit older than my kids. Pretty generic kids. Didn’t resemble any TV characters I could think of. But then Jesse got an email that changed the course of my entire day.

“I just got an email alert that Hotel Transylvania 2 is streaming on Netflix,” he announced.

What did he say about Hotel Trans? What was that thing Facebook was so worked up about?

“I got an email alert that Hotel Transylvania 2 is streaming on Netflix,” he repeated. I think he said it a third time. One of his kids didn’t hear, maybe because I was washing my hands.

I go to Target with my kids A LOT. I linger in the movie aisle. I’ve held the Hotel Transylvania 2 blu-ray in my hands and thought about pulling the trigger.

It’s a movie that explores some difficult questions about identity. Is Transylvania safe for a human child who identifies as monster? How will Grandpa Drac react if little Dennis doesn’t grow up to be the vampire he expects?

I don’t have all the answers. Maybe I don’t even know the questions. I just thought it was important to share with you this 100 percent true story of what happened when I took my daughter to the restroom at Target. Please share my story and tell your friends about the brave dad who added Hotel Transylvania 2 to his Netflix list and saved $25 versus the blu-ray.

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