Today all my social medias are blowing up about the public restrooms at Target stores. Ignoring it all, I took my kids to Target because we have a houseguest who needed some stuff. Also, we’re on the hunt for the new 2016 Imaginext toys.
After a few minutes, I heard the inevitable: “Daddy, I have to go poo-poo.” I could barely believe my little daughter. That hobbit had a good-size plopper earlier this morning. But I know better than to call a 2-year-old’s bluff.
Isn’t there some controversy I’m supposed to be worried about? I wondered, as we walked into the restroom. But we were the only people in there, so whatevs.
I could go on forever about the things a dad worries about when he brings his young daughter into a men’s room, but Louis C.K. pretty much nailed it in the early days of his TV series. This time, I was happy my daughter kept both her shoes on.
Indeed she did have to go poo-poo. And peepee. We took care of business, got her pants back on and exited the stall. That’s when I saw the other man.
It’s difficult for me to describe this man because he looked like a bearded Jesse Pinkman, so I’m not sure whether to call him Jesse Beardman or Beardy Pinkman. I can’t really call him Pinkbeard because his beard was blond. Anyway.
Jesse Beardman was helping his kids, two boys a little bit older than my kids. Pretty generic kids. Didn’t resemble any TV characters I could think of. But then Jesse got an email that changed the course of my entire day.
“I just got an email alert that Hotel Transylvania 2 is streaming on Netflix,” he announced.
What did he say about Hotel Trans? What was that thing Facebook was so worked up about?
“I got an email alert that Hotel Transylvania 2 is streaming on Netflix,” he repeated. I think he said it a third time. One of his kids didn’t hear, maybe because I was washing my hands.
I go to Target with my kids A LOT. I linger in the movie aisle. I’ve held the Hotel Transylvania 2 blu-ray in my hands and thought about pulling the trigger.
It’s a movie that explores some difficult questions about identity. Is Transylvania safe for a human child who identifies as monster? How will Grandpa Drac react if little Dennis doesn’t grow up to be the vampire he expects?
I don’t have all the answers. Maybe I don’t even know the questions. I just thought it was important to share with you this 100 percent true story of what happened when I took my daughter to the restroom at Target. Please share my story and tell your friends about the brave dad who added Hotel Transylvania 2 to his Netflix list and saved $25 versus the blu-ray.